You Don't Get

It strikes me as odd that people don’t like to ask questions. You wouldn’t go to a restaurant and not ask to order anything, so why are people scared to ask things? I’m not going hungry for anyone…

Obviously, there is a limit to what you can ask. Enquiring about someone’s sex life one your first meet does not usually get you a second date(sometimes it does though, just saying) but there are some things you can ask for, where ‘no’ means you don’t lose anything.

So, university had finished for summer and I was bored of watching benefit fraudsters scream at their girlfriends who turned out to be their sisters (NOTE: I’m talking about Jeremy Kyle, not my neighbours) and needed something to do. I went work experience shopping and managed to land a two week unpaid placement at a London based magazine. My family and friends convinced me that all I would do was make the tea and do some filing so, in my head, I was heading for boredom.

I didn’t really know much about how magazines work and was really nervous about my first day. I envisioned it would be like Andy’s arrival at Runway magazine in The Devil Wears Prada, with me being Anne Hathaway, minus the hideous skirt but no less frumpy.

Luckily, it was nothing like that though. There was another girl doing work experience at the same time and we were treated like proper freelance writers; pitching ideas, reporting news stories and writing articles for their website. We were invited to the editorial meeting with all the magazine heads and were even asked to pitch in! We had our own computers, an hour for lunch and plenty of banter with the staff. Who could ask for more? Needless to say, I had a fantastic two weeks.

I've been kind of spoilt though, as now I’m back to reality and my current employment is nowhere near as fun. I wouldn’t ever swap the experience I had; it taught me a lot about life, asking questions and to always have confidence in what you do. I know some people don’t reckon work experience placements because they are mostly short and unpaid but, for an incredibly valuable experience, it’s worth it. Think about it; although unpaid, I have experience at working for a magazine and that speaks volumes on a CV. To top it all, the magazine have asked me to do an article for one of their future issues and I’m incredibly excited about that. My name will be in print in their magazine!

This all happened because I ASKED ONE QUESTION; “would you be able to provide me with a work experience placement?” If they had said “no” I wouldn’t have lost anything and looked what I gained from them saying the opposite. I’m also writing for a local newspaper now too and that’s also because I was brash enough to email the editor directly and ask him for an opportunity.

So, questions are not as scary as they first seem. I ask questions all the time and I don’t mind looking stupid; how do we learn if we don’t ask questions? Sometimes you will get a negative response but just brush yourself off and move off. But when you get a positive answer, you could have a fantastic experience, all because you were brave enough to ask for one. It all comes down to that old saying anyway, if you don’t ask…

Four beers, two shows and a thousand butterflies

Honestly, I had never really given much thought to butterflies. I live next to a nature reserve and haven’t walked round it yet; I count that as a failing in me. I mean, I know what butterflies look like and how to draw one and how to make a butterfly spread painting and how to produce a stained glass butterfly window display (that’s what a six year career in childcare will give you) but I couldn’t tell the difference between a Red Admiral and the other kinds, though presumably the former has some red on it.

I’ve just seen a play called Life for Beginners and these insects played a major role. No, it wasn’t a load of contemporary dancers dressed up, nor was it a summer pre-school production with costumes made of tin foil and cardboard. It was a proper play with proper actors in a proper theatre (it even had someone from The Bill in it so there). Now, in my interpretation, the play was a medley of love stories loosely connected around butterflies, but it tied in quite neatly with a visit to the Tate I had made earlier that same day. I did my usual “I’m going to toddle off ON MY OWN and have an adventure” trick and ended up at a live art exhibition by the prolific artist Tino Sehgal in the Turbine Hall of the                                              Tate Modern.

Look, I’ll level with you, I didn’t have a clue what was going on for the first twenty minutes and I wanted to walk out (I’m talking about the Tate by the way, not the play… That would just be rude) but I decided to stick with it and see what happened. I had various performers approach and tell me about their lives; some had questions, others wanted advice and one needed some form of reassurance. A lady asked how she could be braver in life and try new things; that was easy, she just needed a push in the right direction. But the thing that really stood out for me was forty people chanting the words “human, nature, human, nature” over and over again. I kept that in the back of my head and saved it for later.

Photo courtesy of
Life for Beginners © Theatre503

So anyway, I was at this play and someone was banging on about butterflies and how beautiful life was when she let the butterflies escape from a research lab, and how the sight of thousands of colourful insects filling the sky had made some people fall in love and others to propose marriage and others found religion and others lost it and yada yada yada, and it suddenly reminded me of the whole “human, nature” chant and how maybe they were actually chanting “human nature, human nature” as in the nature of humans.

Now, I know what you’re thinking; what’s all this got to do with butterflies? Well, the changes those people made in their lives after seeing those insects is human nature. We all, inside us, have something that we are not happy about but don’t change or are scared to change; we need a push. And sometimes that push comes from an unexpected place, such as a spectacle of beauty. I’m not saying we all need to immediately don balaclavas and break into London Zoo, what I’m saying is that sometimes the push for change is closer than you think; butterflies are all around us.

I hope this hasn’t been too arty or poetical for you, I mean I wrote this and I’m an idiot. I’m just saying that the urge to change is human nature, as is the need to question life, the fear of the unknown and sometimes needing a shove in the right direction. But I’m happy with fearing the unknown and questioning and changing when the butterflies come along, even if I can’t tell my Common Blue from my Small Skipper.

After all, we can’t all live in our cocoons forever.